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be NO Ww ws Oo OY ~] oO Ke) a oO he be No (ee) = Hs Oo _ OY a ~] a oO a Ke} 20 21 22 23 24 25 Case 1:20-cr-00330 M6SOmaxS1 distrust yourself. -PAE Document 737 _ Filed 07/22/22 expectation violated, you tell yourself, Page 61 of 101 61 When a boundary is crossed or an "Someone who cares about me to do all these nice things surely wouldn't also be trying to harm me W This pattern of thinking is insidious, so these seeds of self-doubt took root even as had also been harmed by them and came to that many others had been exploited. THE MS. FARMER: significant self-recrimination, COURT: memor i For years thes learned my sister find out years later Just a request to slow down. s triggered blame myse]l For believing these predators actual help me. I fel t tremendous survivor guilt when what other gir] Maxwell and Epstein. ls and young women had experienced at hands of me weighed on her and This toxic combination of exploited, resulted in significant shame; feeling con that sickening minimization and guilt. lly wanted to fused and naive and blaming myself I heard about saw about how my sister's concern about felt guilty about this as well. being sexually exposed and all feeling that makes you want come in waves, When show up. these feelings many of in my path of these moments to name and though I healing, to disappear. It was not Similar to the waves that I think back, would surface and overwhelm me. [ know that these to be triggered at times. SOUTHERN D STRICT REPORTERS, P.C. (212) 805-0300 constant but would anxiety would also see a slide-show of moments when There are too have come a long way feelings will continue DOJ-OGR-00011580