EFTA02435649.pdf

To: undisclosed-recipients:( ] From: Steven Elkman Sent: Thur 11/19/2009 4:05:04 PM Subject: Fw: thisi sn't rocket science! Steven Munro Elkman Client Advisor Managing Director Deutsche Bank Alex. Brown A Division of Deutsche Bank Securities, Inc. 280 Park Avenue. 3 East New York, NY 10017 phone fax — — Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting program. I'll explain it using the Q and A format: Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money? A. From taxpayers.. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? A. Only a smidgen. Q. What is the purpose of this payment? A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV EFTA_R1_01507783 EFTA02435649 set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of Asia ? A. Shut up or you don't get your check. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: 1 If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China . 2 If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia . 3 If you purchase a computer, it will go to India . 4 If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala . 5 If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea . 6 If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan . 7 If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts. Instead, you can keep the money in America by: 1 spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or 2 going to baseball or football games, or 3 hiring prostitutes, or 4 buying cheap beer or 5 getting tattoos. These are the only wholly-American-owned businesses still operating in the EFTA_R1_01507784 EFTA02435650 US . Conclusion: The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you're drunk enough to go get tattooed! This communication may contain confidential and/or privileged information. If you are not the intended recipient (or have received this communication in error) please notify the sender immediately and destroy this communication. Any unauthorized copying, disclosure or distribution of the material in this communication is strictly forbidden. Deutsche Bank does not render legal or tax advice, and the information contained in this communication should not be regarded as such. EFTA_R1_01507785 EFTA02435651