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male anti-abuse educator who lectures in colleges around the country. Bullet-headed and
aggressive in stance, he said a lot of valuable things -- particularly about how men ought
to take ownership of problems we traditionally consider "women's issues." It's certainly
true that if we want to end male abuse of women, men must participate in the movement.
But although Katz discussed some issues of masculinity, I heard little about how we can
make things better for men. His proposition of a men's movement was centered around
correcting the things some men are doing wrong.
Although they're often watered down, many feminist concepts have gone mainstream.
For instance, Americans have some consciousness of traditional feminist critiques about
how women's bodies are represented in the media. Indeed, that consciousness has become
so endemic that, in a grandly ironic twist, marketers now capitalize on it to sell beauty
products: the nationwide Dove Campaign for Real Beauty attempts to use
deconstruction of the media's representation of women to sell Dove soap. Americans
are also quite aware of men as the privileged class -- sometimes regarded outright as the
oppressors.
But this shift in awareness about gender issues faced by women has not been
accompanied by a widespread understanding of gender issues faced by men. And that
creates situations like an activist working towards a masculinity movement that talks
mainly about how men are hurting women, or a trans man who has trouble with the idea
of transitioning partly because he doesn't want to be a white man -- one of the oppressors.
How can awareness of oppressive dynamics make it difficult for men to own their
masculinity? Does male privilege ever make life harder for men? When does male
privilege blind us to oppression of masculinity? There's some mainstream awareness of
gender issues faced by women; is there any similar awareness of the problems of
masculinity?
A good friend of mine first caught my attention by talking about gender. We encountered
each other ata BDSM meetup, and when I mentioned that I'd been thinking about the
boxes around masculine sexuality, he launched into a rant about oppressive sexual
dynamics. He gave me references to complex sexuality blogs and intelligently used
words like "heteronormative" and "patriarchy." But a month or so after we started talking,
I mentioned his interest in gender issues... and he gave me a puzzled look. "I'm not really
into gender studies,” he said.
He talks about sex, gender and culture all the time -- but he also specifically identifies as
highly masculine, and felt that to be at odds with identifying as someone who questions
masculinity. As Thomas Millar writes in his aforementioned article: "There's a huge
unstated assumption that to even address the question [of male sexuality], for men, is to
mark one's self as ‘other.’ ... cis het men are brought up to fear that their masculinity could
ever be called into question. By even opening up a dialog, I think some folks fear that
they are conceding that their sexuality is not uncontroversial.”
Men currently experience this problem in a way that women do not. In other words,
women don't risk being seen as unfeminine as easily as men risk being seen as
unmasculine; nor do we have quite the same fears about it. In 2008, a group of
researchers published a paper called "Precarious Manhood." Their concluding statement:
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