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talk about anyways. He wanted to talk about something else anyways. Sitting me down at the dining room table he began his spiel. “I know you don’t think much of me anymore, how could you? I’m a junkie who steals and sells drugs for a living, but I promise that’s all going to change now. Adam is dead because of me and the only way I can make it up to him is to get away from it all. I promise things are going to get better.” It was a convincing talk, but I knew him all too well. His demon inside yearned for him to fail but who was I to second-guess him out loud, I could only try to give him hope. “No one is perfect TJ. At least you’re trying now and that’s all that matters to me. I am so proud of you.” I gave him a sincere hug and kissed him for the first time in a long time. “] love you,” he said to me and I returned my love back. We slept in the same bed together that night and were officially back on together. Two days later I was gone again, beckoned to be in Santa Fe. Ghislane only told me that I was to meet someone there, not sure of whom that was. It wasn’t my place to ask questions. As far as I knew it could be anyone and I had no choice but to be compliant to their needs. It was the middle of the day when I arrived at the airport. One of the ranch hands came to pick me up in a big work truck that smelled like dirt and sweat but I didn’t mind that’s what I loved about the countryside. When we arrived at the mansion my guest was already there waiting for me. I couldn’t wipe the look off my face as he turned around from the bookshelf that he was standing at. “Hello” that same old cheesy grin greeted me once again. It was his highness Prince Andrew, and what a sight. He wrapped his arms around my waist and greeted me like an old friend. | hugged him back rolling my eyes at the same time, already dreading what lay in store over the next couple of days. My job was to entertain him endlessly, whether that meant having to bestow him my body during an erotic massage or simply take him horseback riding. For the next couple of days he was to be my only concern, but he wasn’t. I called in checking on T.J a few times a day, not wanting to be a nag but just hoping he hadn’t had any thoughts about relapsing. He was doing great, even applying for a couple jobs. Being reassured by him made my time away less complicated and thankfully with the help of my ever- ready Xanax I was able to cope with the ordeal. The mansion was completely empty save a couple of maids who also cooked our dinners for us, and a couple bodyguards that we hardly even saw at all. The time dragged by slowly for me as I was counting down the hours until 1 flew away again, anywhere but here I thought. It wasn’t easy meeting the sexual desires of these strange men, the Prince being one of them. He loved my feet and even licked in between my toes. Then there was the lack of passion in the intimacy we shared, to him I was just another girl and to me he was just another job. Not the right reasons to be 105 0 Copyright Protected Material together but I thought in this world and to these monsters, there didn’t need to be a reason. To them it’s nothing but a reenactment of their personal fantasies. To me it was a living nightmare. Thankfully one of Jeffrey’s assistants from New York called me on my cell phone early in the morning on the second day to fill me in on my next adventure. I had a flight booked for me to leave that afternoon to arrive at La Guardia airport in the evening. Even though | had to go back to yet another controlling man, I was still relieved. At least I was used to the confinements of Jeffrey’s contro! and in some twisted way he was more comforting than these strangers he sent me to. Overlooking the city of New York as the plane landed felt like 1 was flying from one cage to another, Entrapped by falling victim to the predators that lured me into their enclosure. I didn’t know how I would ever get out again. That deep pit in my stomach began to churn again, a physical reaction to the anxiety I was plagued with. Before getting off the plane | touched up my make- up to hide any signs of the frailty I was feeling. Jo-Jo met me at the arrival terminal and picked up my luggage for me. He never said much at all, nodding to any reciprocating conversation. I don’t think he could really speak that good of English anyways. It was better for me as I preferred the quietness for the moment. He opened the back door for me and we headed off for my next prison cell. When we got to Jeffrey’s mansion on 72™, the place looked empty. 1 walked up the staircase to Jeffrey’s office and he wasn’t there. Feeling a bit hungry | walked back down to where the kitchen was. I opened the fridge and found some leftovers that Adam, Jeffrey’s chef, had cooked. | loved his cooking, when it wasn’t filled with beansprouts and tofu. He used to make me the best pizza upon request, or whenever he was cooking seafood, which he knew I hated. He had an honest appeal about him and never even took notice when on many occasions us girls would be prancing around topless, sometimes even stark naked around the pool or beach. He would have to serve us our meals and would do it with such a casual professionalism, never making anyone uneasy at any occasion. Half way through my meal the kitchen doors swung open and incoming was Jeffrey and Ghislane. Choking down my bite of food down, I got up from my seat and kissed them both on the cheeks. “ Hi guys, how are you?” I greeted them and Ghislane answered for them both “Good, good. Sit down and finish your meal, don’t let us interrupt you.” I hated eating alone in front of people, chewing food and maintaining a conversation at the same time didn’t give off the best look. “‘I was just finishing anyways, can I get you guys anything, maybe a tea or something?” Always playing my part, another reason to keep me around I guess, 1 went beyond the call of duty and after the last period with them, | had been reminded of my place. “Yes, I'll take a one” Ghislane stated. “Jetifrey how about you, 106 1 Copyright Protected Material HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_021197 GIVI RLEOO4239.